He
isn't even talking to me
and
I have this urge
to
shout him down
to
change the topic.
Then
I realize,
I
felt the same way last time
someone
was talking like that
and
that time I did shut it down.
I
feel ashamed.
I
stopped people from exploring the philosophical concepts of
determinism and free-will simply because it made me uncomfortable.
Hypothetical
constructs should not be fearful.
People
who refuse to grow and learn are frightened by the hypothetical...
that
is why I am ashamed.
I
couldn't handle the idea
that
I have no choice in anything
and
that everything
I
do,
I
say,
I
am,
was
predetermined from the moment time started.
I
shut down the conversation with the point that it didn't matter
which
was true
because
it didn't affect day to day life
or
the apparent choices we make
so
it wasn't worth discussion.
And
so,
a
moment of weakness
caused
by staring into the abyss of nihilistic philosophy,
now
creates a blush of shame
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